What's Your Resolution Style?
BOYD's Official Holiday
And now let us believe in a long year that is given to us, new, untouched, full of things that have never been.
-Rainer Maria Rilke
Henceforth, New Year’s Day shall be named the official holiday of Bring Out Your Dead. It is the one time of year that globally significant numbers of people elect to self-reflect and make conscious choices to think differently about themselves, their communities, and the world around them. One could call it an annual mass die-off of dead ideas (for approximately seven days to four months). Imagine it.
If you’ve been here before, you know that one of the goals of BOYD is to decide which tightly-held ideas are no longer serving, personally, culturally, or globally. This year’s topics have ranged broadly, with thematic underpinnings. A little YIR: We have discussed the ridiculous, like the future of dogs, Disneyworld, blackouts, and Formula 1 racing, as well as headier things like patriarchy, politics, gratitude, and the amorphous nature of the Future. All of these topics say something about us as an ever-evolving species on this planet. In the macro or the micro, they show us where we are headed.
On January 1, whether we know we are doing it or not, all resolutions are about eschewing dead ideas in favor of more viable ones, to better ourselves or our situations in some form. Some require outward action, for inward impact. Others require inward action, for outward impact. The self is the driver either way.
In that spirit, I started thinking about the kinds of resolutions people make this time of year, both ones that succeed and ones that are destined for failure by January 4. What motivates people? What is the ultimate impact on self and others? As with anything, this is a limited, generalized list. Which one is your style for 2025?
The Goal Setter
Sample resolutions: I will train for the Boston Marathon; I will read 100 books; I will lose 30 pounds.
In my non-scientific, inward/outward metric, these are the most personally focused, and perhaps the most immediately actionable. Lots of people need a named goal to stick with things. Rules are rules, and discipline toward the end is straight forward, formulaic even. Bravo to these people! (This is so not me.)
The Manifester
Sample resolutions: By X time next year; I will achieve that promotion; I will take that trip to southern Italy; I will live in a new town; I will be a horse person.
While these are also inwardly focused, they take a different kind of dedicated work before realizing the benefits, and may often rely on the support of outsiders (bosses, family, airline prices) to reach the desired outcome. Higher risk, longer-lasting reward, maybe? There is no If you think it, it will come, in true manifesting. But eye-on-the-prize thinking is key.
The Do-Gooder
Sample resolutions: I will donate X dollars to charity this year; I will volunteer X hours per week; I will spend more time with a struggling friend; I will foster puppies.
These resolutions are perhaps the most outwardly focused. There is selflessness built in, in theory. The impact is certainly greater on the recipient than the giver. And there is the rush of serotonin that the do-gooder gets from the act itself, as we have discussed in previous posts. Ultimately, the sincerity of the delivery is important. This is not a box-checker.
The Habit Breaker
Sample resolutions: I will give up sugar; I will stop biting my cuticles; I won’t be such a pushover at work; I will yell at my kids less.
Many habit-breakers are destined for failure on day 2. Give up sugar? Come on, this is America in 2025. And Dry January is not really giving up drinking. It’s drying out. But as a group, these promises to self require a level of inward reflection, as much motivated by our desire to be better for others as for ourselves. They also require certain tools of awareness to see them through to the end. For true success, they must examine why we do these things that we now want to abandon, and who will be better off as a result? Tough, but worthwhile. To me, they are a 50/50 split of inward/outward.
The Existentialist
Sample resolutions (plus build-up): What is my place in society, the world? Do I like myself? Can I make a difference? I will be a better steward of my planet this year; I will be a better human.
Oof. These are real stinkers. Enormous in scope, and loosely but endlessly thought through. Where to even begin? They are possible the most outwardly-intended with the most inward requirements. They absolutely demand personal action, and an understanding of the micro, long-term effects of one action on an entire system. They are crucial to a viable future, writ large. But they can just as easily get lost in semantics and non-scalability. They are at once the most hopeless and hopeful of all resolutions.
There is no right answer here. You do you. (And maybe let us know what you did in the comments?) They are all great ways to start a new year, with self-reflection and an eye on the future.
And, as always, may your ideas live a long, glorious life, or meet their just end in 2025.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!
-IWW